It just hit me while I was sitting in Sports Writing, after a blow-up between the editors and our supervisor in the newsroom, that journalism needs to be something you really love in order to withstand all the crap that comes with it.
I mean it’s no secret that your pay is measly, the work is endless, and the stress is paramount, but what bothers me most is the writing.
I love writing. Going into detail about it would take way too much time entirely, but this is not the kind of writing I love. All forms of writing are not equal.
Journalism has a lot to do with investigative reporting. If I wanted to be a detective, I would have went into criminology or forensic science. If I wanted to be concise and not fluffy, I would write “How To” books and recipes or something like that.
I guess what I’m getting at is I am more of a literary writer. The unfortunate thing is that I have a love for writing at a time when that love for writing is not reciprocated by society. I guess I’m going to be one of those cynics who…
Ugh. See? I’m even losing the ability to conjure up the right phrase or words! My writing is being so suppressed that I can’t even communicate in a satisfying way any more.
I never wanted to get to this point. For a while, writing has been the only thing I could always depend on.
I just need to evaluate the situation I am faced with and make a decision. Do I want to keep preparing myself for a lifetime of reporting and news writing? Or am I going to rekindle my passion and flourish in something I love. It’s pretty much a question of security versus happiness - if you even want to call a career in journalism “secure.”
I just need to go now.
Feature- Division A
Third Place
Lana Bellamy, Morehead State University
Lana Bellamy’s silly story stands out because she took it seriously. What could have been a throwaway about a bunch of guys having Nerf gun wars on campus turns into a terrific feature because Bellamy took the time to get the details that tell the story. It epitomizes the old saying, if it is worth doing, it’s worth doing well.
Sometimes you have to find a way to motivate yourself. Today, I felt that going back and looking at this reminded me that I’m not totally incompetent. There’s still hope for my writing. I just have to stay focused and not treat any piece like a throwaway article because you never know which ones can be the award winners!
I know you don’t even understand why, or even that it made me mad in the first place, but I just cannot even fathom writing something for you that, if successful, would get you into the college that I’ve always wanted to go to. If I could actually write something that good, I’d do it for myself.
But I know you and your mom are nice, genuine people who probably don’t even know that I’ve always wanted that scholarship, but I just can’t write the essay for you… It’s a lose-lose for myself mentally. Yes, you might give me money, but if it’s successful, it would be like me giving away my dream scholarship to you. And if it’s unsuccessful, I would feel bad accepting the money because I never helped you in the first place.
If you wanted to go anywhere except my dream school, I would do it for you in a heartbeat. But not only that, I guess I would also feel guilty because it’s unfair if someone writes the essay that gets the scholarship for you—no matter how much you may deserve it (hard worker, stressed, monetarily strained, etc.).
I don’t mind to help edit at all because I do want to see you succeed, it’s just that I don’t think I could ever forgive myself if I was able to secure the scholarship for you. I would always be thinking that it could have been me instead.